TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING – A SENSE FOR DIRECTION. The reason many of us are frustrated and perplexed in life today is because we could be lost in life. We are just alive we are not truly living. We are not deliberate in our actions and we are not in charge of our life situations. We are constantly being tossed by situations, challenges and the desperation for basic and social needs. Our needs not our purpose have become the bases for actions and reactions. Hence we wake up daily, living a life of reaction to the need to feed, clothe, live in a comfortable home, educate our children, have enough money and be socially accepted. The ‘whys’ of our daily choices are basically in reaction to all that is happening around us. We are not happening to anything, we are just reacting to everything. A person who takes up employment so as to meet the needs in life and pay bills and be socially relevant can hardly achieve anything Phenomenal. For most, the ability to survive is their goal in life. This in my opinion shouldn’t be a goal as you will still die eventually, we all shall one day, so why make survival a goal? A life of purpose is such that is meant to make a mark; a life that builds, a life that develops, a life that creates, a life with meaning and relevance in this world and to humanity at large. A life with transgenerational impact. Dear friend, what is your life about, where is your destination, what is your goal in life? What exactly makes you different from every regular person? Hmm Do you have a catch up mentality – wanting to catch up with everyone else around or you have your own defined journey and purpose and destination that is unique to you and your reason for being in this world? When your life is all about waking up, going to work, working hard, getting paid, paying bills and being comfortable, I’m afraid, you’re grossly undervaluing and diminishing the worth and purpose of your existence. When your thinking is basic – meaning it’s all about food, clothes, shelter and social security, you would hardly find fulfilment. You will always want more, you’ll hardly be satisfied and never be contented. This is because you don’t even know what you really want and what you’re hungry for. In this state, it will be difficult to be satisfied. When you’re not satisfied, you’d be unhappy. Every time you see genuinely happy people, you would assume it’s because of what they have, then you’ll get covetous and begin to chase what they have and if and when eventually you get it, you’ll realise you’re still empty and dissatisfied. A life without a reason, a purpose, goals and a destination can hardly be a coordinated, well directed and fulfilling one. You will hardly be happy. Dear friend, why did you go to school? Why did you study the course you studied? Why do you work where you work? Why are you in that company? Why are you in that industry? Where are you going with it? If your answers revolve around income, money, survival and bills; dear friend, you need to change the way you see life and the way you think. If you don’t, you will hardly experience true happiness. You will not really have a happy life, your happiness will only be transient and tied to people, situations and things; not deep, not within, not perpetual. You will lack joy if you lack purpose and direction for your life. Dear friend, you need to set clear, specific goals and a germane, purposeful reason for all you do. You need to have a superior and valuable reason for all you do. Don’t do things because everyone around is doing it. Have a personal and wise reason for doing all you do. Dear friend, think again, why do you do all you do daily? Why do you wake up each day? Why do you leave home each day? Why do you work hard each day? Why do you study so hard? Why are you writing the exams and professional courses? Why do you keep the friends you keep? Why do you go to the places you go to? Why do you join the associations you join? Many of us actually do these daily to address our internal struggle with self-esteem, and the desperation for acceptance. Many of us are working so hard because we naturally don’t feel good about ourselves and we hope to enhance the way we feel about ourselves through achievements and accomplishments. Without our jobs, certificates, bank accounts, family and profession, we feel very inferior; we think we’re nobodies. That’s why we use all these things we chase and hanker after to fill up the void we feel on the inside. Dear friend, low self-esteem is a psychological ailment and the antidote is not achievements and accomplishments. You can be the president and still suffer low self-esteem. It’s a thinking and upbringing problem. For many, achievements and material possessions literarily make us, we feel empty without them. This twisted psyche is the reason many crumble and are permanently damaged in life when they experience a loss of any of these. Many hardly recover from the loss of an employment, the collapse of a business, the failure of their marriage, a disappointing child, or the death of a spouse or loved one. We are extremely attached to these things; they feed us with life and they become the meaning of our lives. That’s why many contemplate suicide when they suffer great loss. A higher life is such that doesn’t consider all these as goals but as blessings. Dear friend, I don’t mean to demoralise you this morning, I just want to enhance your thinking and let you know your life must be worth much more than being blessed, you must become a blessing. You must set goals, you must have a purpose for your life, a destination; something you’re about and a personal reason for why you exist. That’s the best way to truly enjoy all these other blessings. When you have a life of purpose and meaning, you can effectively survive every season in life; seasons when you’re rich or broke, you’ll remain unshaken, the challenges of career, business and marriage wouldn’t trouble you that much; you wouldn’t be desperate about anything because you have a superior reason for living. Hence through the good and the bad and the nasty, you’ll cope so well and you’ll never lose your joy and peace as becoming a blessing is the source of true joy and perpetual happiness. Detach psychologically from people and things, connect with purpose and destination. Live a higher life that builds, creates and develops value for humanity. Follow your dreams and your passion. Do what your maker designed you for. Build your life around your inner core of happiness. Live the life you’re designed to live, the life you enjoy, not as imposed by people or the society. A life of purpose, destination and clear goals guarantees a high level of success and achievement than any other single skill or quality. Life is easier with a sense of direction, you prioritise and make better use of your time. Dear friend, I really want you to be excited, I want you to be happy, delighted and free from worries, fear, anxiety and vile social contest. I want to help you deal with that heaviness of heart; your concerns and worry about people and things you can’t do anything about. I want to refocus your attention on the need to be happy. To find your happiness within you not from around you. I want you to be the source of your own happiness. When work, career, business, finance, relationships, marriage and even your children make you unhappy, I want you to think about you and your personal dreams and get elated, inspired and happy. Don’t lose yourself in all these. You are very important to yourself. Own your life, create your happiness and your dream life. Can I suggest something you can do immediately today? Create a dream list for yourself – develop a five year fantasy you want to make come true. Think about yourself today. In five years, how do you want to look? What will you be doing? Who would you want to be with? Who would you no longer be with? What sort of family and lifestyle would you have? Your home, car, clothes and degree of physical fitness. The essence of life is dreams, goals and destination. The purpose of life is to make it much better than you met it. The reason for your being is for your life to cause people to give glory to your maker. Go for your dreams, go for your goals and your destination and enjoy every blessing. Don’t be tied, desperately to anything. Live from inside out, not from outside in. let your inward man take the lead. Conquer the deception of your senses, and the lies your eyes, ears and flesh tell you. Your life is worth more than things. Have a sense for direction.
Published by boazolaosebikan
I have been asked several times why I choose writing poetry and motivating people. Well, my answer is simple: If you find yourself in my side of life, you'll definitely be grateful about the simple things life offers. You'll come to understand that every single day is an opportunity, and a reason to be grateful. I love what I do not because I generate a flow of income from it, but because in what I do, I can define my life and at the same time give meaning to someone elses life. As a poet my perception to life and the things that happen around me is quite endearing. I see life from the angle of possibilities. "Having overtime understood that drooling over situations never change the results, I choose to be optimistic at all levels and sphere of life." Born into a humble background, where my Destiny helper took the pains of seeing me through school as his last born and integrate me into his blissful family. gave me quite the necessary lessons I needed to become the man I have grown to be. Life is simply amazing when you see situations as a class and a needed lesson. I am simply an observer, I try my best to sketch out my tomorrow from my today's views. As a motivator, I see every experiences as a needed tool to help my friends, acquaintance and the entire society towards making the right choices. When you appreciate the person you have become, you can easily define your life's journey from where you came from, having a clear vision and understanding of your desired destination. Self-discovery means many things. It means finding your purpose in life (we all have a purpose), it means digging deep into your childhood and revealing the experiences that shaped you... good and bad. It means realizing what your beliefs are and living by them. The effects of self-discovery include happiness, fulfillment, clarity and maybe even enlightenment! The journey however is not always an easy road. The journey includes fear, confusion, misunderstanding, doubt and literally re-visiting all your choices in life. I like to refer to it as reshuffling of the mind, your emotions and your surroundings (including the people in your life). It requires making some tough decisions and sticking to them. My journey so far has seen me cut people out of my life. I call them the “takers.” They were takers because I allowed them to be and it wasn’t until I realized that many of these relationships were one-sided — self- discovery — that I decided to cut them out. It has also seen me completely change the course of my life and start to follow my true passion and purpose (poetry and motivation). I have also started to set intentions and no longer have expectations from others — okay... this one is really hard for me and it’s a work in progress — but instead I have started to look within for answers. I’ve had several set backs along the way and I have no doubt I will have many more but, I’m not giving up. What I know for sure is that the journey is worth taking. I am slowly becoming my true self, more aware and more tolerant. I am learning how to pay attention to my feelings and understand myself better. What I know for sure is that I have had several unrealistic expectations, which have set up for disappointment. Apparently because I lie to myself. Why do we do this? Why do we lie to ourselves? And more importantly, why do we allow ourselves to get away with it? When someone else lies to me and I find out about it I freak out. “How dare he lie to me? Does she think I’m stupid?” but, we lie to ourselves profusely and even cover up our own lies by accepting them as truth in order to reassure ourselves that it’s okay!!! What I know for sure is that being true to my feelings and accepting the poet and motivator in me and also acknowledging him as well as validating him has released so much fear in me. It has released my fear of not being good enough as well as my fear of not living up to the expectations I set for myself. What I know for sure is that we are usually our own worst enemy. We hold ourselves back in so many ways and accepting who I am, helps me move away from that pattern. The freedom you will feel within yourself starts when you accept the person you are or have become without being bias. However, the universe will give you back in rewards when your passion and obsession for who you are and what you believe in supercedes the challenges and discouragement that comes from your distrators. View all posts by boazolaosebikan